What a week...

Soo...whille the first few days of me being here, were likely the hardest I had experienced, being a million miles away from home and in strange place with nothing familar to surround me..this week can definately compare...

So whille I thought things couldnt get much worse after the mayhem at school on Tuesday, it definately did...For the first time I actually broke down at school and basically had to go in this bushy area behind the school for an hour and cry...the day was completely horrible and includes things that I will never forget for years to come...followed by a brutal morning I was basically cornered by a teacher and asked to be his wife and all this very uncomfortablenesss....luckily after experiencing my breakdown in the morning I sent out an SOS to my boy emmma here and he came and rescued me at lunch, keeping me company and ensuring we would take some of the things noted this wk and fix them for the better...

After suffering all morning and having my schedule completely turned upside down, I spent the entire afternoon teaching..my grade 4's after being drilled on mulitplication have come to understand the value of doing things on your own, and my grade 5's turned my entire mood around..they are definately number 1 on my list of things to misss...

I walked into my grade 5 class and had the kiddds cheering because i was teaching, they got up and locked the door as they usually do, sooo no one disturbs our time together...and then Brian, the boy I will again likely sponsor, took out this walkman and basically started recording me...the kids had suchhh a kick out of it and they said see we know you are leaving next week, and we will be sad and cry..but now we recorded you and that means when you are away we can always have you with us....

FAWWWK...there went breakdown number 2, for the day...lawdd, soo yea i cried but managed to get through the lesson and then hung out wth the kids..they taught me how to speak Lungandan which I have picked up on a bit already...but they had such a kick out of me trying and tape recording the whole thing..i lovve those kids...

In fact, whille I had my heart set on a set of these giraffes to bring home, I have found something even better to bring home and its away for me to alwayyys have my grade 5's each day...I have come to realize that for every moment that I suffer when I get back I will look to them as a way to see the good side, and the hope that things will be better...

SOOO after really taking a beating this week with things here and last week with things at home..I just decided to take today off, to relax and then pack b4 heading into KLA for the wkend, to finalllllllllllllly havvvve a wkend that will likely resemble one at home :)

I guess its becoming bittersweet...I am actually really excited to get to Kenya and London and finallly home, but a huge part of me wants to stay here forever and make sure these kids are okay and grow up to believe in themselves they way they should...

These kids have made me come to see that i have spent a greater part of my life making sure everyone is okay, and making sure everyone has the best ...I can think of a few month stint where I put my goals ahead of everything else, but the reality is that I have to say it isnt me...I lead my life with my heart and whille I can give 7000% to everything, I have also learnt that I can pull away just as quickly if I have no surity of where things could be heading...

Its like life is this constant push and pull and finding that balance is the hardest thing to do ..becuase in the end it all leads to assumptions...which I have come to realize I am willing to make in some cases, but in others I think things need to be said...especially when there is much room to assume the worst....

On that nooote, I am out...

ttys :)