Soo its weird how I arrived in Uganda crying about how much I missed home, and how I left crying about how much I wasn't ready to leave.
The drive to Entebbe was depressing, although Emma and I were pretty much passed out due to the last nite fiesta that was had by all (ps. Rolex's are soo my new after bar food...burritos will never taste the same)...none the less as we rolled up the airport guest house and all got out of the car, the girls all said bye to Emma (aka. Emmanual) and when it was my turn we hugged for long and the tears just started, and really didnt stop.
I cried on the way to Kenya, spent the first day of my safari pretty much feeling like I had been dumped by one of retarded ex-bf's and cried again some more. From experience of talking to some who have done the kinda stuff I did, feeling what i feel is normal...its just hard to begin to imagine home again knowing that i just came from a place where i found purpose and meaning in my life, where work wasn't to just put money in my pocket but was actually something I enjoyed doing and made a real difference at the end of the day. Leaving made me feel like I had cheated those kids by dangling love and care in front of them and then taking it away.
At the beginning someone told me that the way you feel when you arrive is that "you know what you have come from and what you left , and you have no idea what you will get out of this and what you will have when you return". And whille at the beginning that is exactly how I felt, I am beginning to feel as though that is how I feel all over again.
I know what I left in Uganda, my life, the kids, the friends, my little community and whille I know what amazing people I am coming home to, it cant erase the doubt of not being 100% sure everything will be as it seems when I return, especially from my own perspective...
Thank you for sharing in my UG experience...I hope you have all been inspired to visit the pearl of Africa which now holds a part of my heart that I never knew existed.
For the last time
-Arti aka. the Indian Princess of UG, who was nicknamed the African Dance Queen on my last night....lol, lonnng story ;)
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
And here i go...leaving my Omatima in UG...
How time flies is all I can think right now...about 5 years ago I entered a process that was ment to take a year and after several bumps in the roads, a lot of tears, failure and learning..i broke free of the process just a bout a year ago...
It was at that time that this idea of this trip began and no matter how great life seemed to be around me and there was really no reason for me to leave, i knew that 10-15 years from now the lessons I learnt would only make me be the strong, confident, inspirational and beautiful woman that i would want my kids to see and learn from...
Soo the planning began and b4 i knew it i was sitting at heathrow with a stack of goodbye cards/notes and pictures to carry me through bawling like a baby...wondering WHAT THE HELLL i was really doing...thank god for BBM is all i have to say and supprisingly enough the pep talk that Neil of all people provided...
about 30 hours later, which included a lot of disasters, delayed flights and chaos i landed and found myself in the airport guesthouse bawling once again..the thought of being alll alone in this strange place no matter how independent I have managed to become in my life even scared the living crap out of me...I went to bed that first, second, third, fourth and fifth nite wishing i would wake up in my bed at home and it would all be over...
Then I met Julia..a 22 year old German girl who suprisingly summed up exactly how i felt.... the truth is she said " you know exactly what you have left behind, and you have no idea what you are coming to and worst of all you dont know what you will go home too"...and she was right, my eyes lit up and as tears sprung to the surface she assured me that after being here for a few months already, that life was only bound to get better, if i was willing to start believing..
Annnd soo the idea of assumptions came into my mind and seemed to tie into every aspect of my trip and now as I sit here on last day in Jinga, I realize that through all of the ups and downs, questioning of things and struggling with trying to keep it together..I am ready to start believing..because after all, after learning about who i am, what i have and where i come from...holding my head high just seems like the right thing to do...
Soo there you have it, this city, the struggles, the times, the work, the everything here has finally let me leave the past where it belongs and realize that i have learnt to make some of the right choices in my life this past year, even if at times i tend to move at snails pace...
Nooow with all that being said I keep with the trend of lists for this week...here is my liiist of things I'll miss and in nooo particular order since living here has only taught me that order is boring and organized chaos is that much better..I KNOW you're thinking, who the hell is this girl...lol...
1. Emmma & Ian...whoo have basically become the amit's, deepak's, neil's, navin's, etc of Uganda and kept me grounded, sane and most importantly gave me sanity...this trip would never have been the same without these bonds that have now taught me about just letting go and living :)
2. The hooooouse...okay soo its not the W of Montreal that i love...but its home, and everytime I think of UG i'll think of that guesthouse, my room, the kitchen table and the family rooom where endless hours were spent....annnnnnnd the washing area of course where I learnt to becomme domesticated..yea thats right I can now wash clothes by hand :P
3. MYYY BODDA BOODDDA....i videotaped the ride to work on my last day, to show all you people that i know are dying to see the 10000000 of pictures and videos I took....but let me tell you, everytime i think of getting on the go train i think to myself hoooow depresssed i will be knowing that i could have been on a motorcycle...
4. FLAVOOOURS...and indulge and two friends, and the gately and ...lol...every hangout here...BUT ESPECIALLLY flavours..for it has been the "cheers" version of Jinja where everyone knows your name :) plusss you gotta love a caffee that calls u the indian princess :P
5. Not wearing make-up, doing my hair and wearing the same clothes everyday and still being considered a beautiful and rare delicasy out here....fawwk...lol...if i walked around toronto like this I AM POSITIVE that people would throw money at me and think i was a bum...lol...that and I AM POSITIVE...that there are people that would rather just leave me at home when they went out...lol...
6. The scenery, the people, the city, the liveliness....the love, happiness and pride these people have ...make it amaziiing to be around them..its like you walk around with a perma grin alll the timmmme....
7. THE INDIAN FOOOD..which i have to say tastes like being at home...God...i dont really know how much i managed to retain inside of me but every bite of it tasted like Heavvven...whiiich links directly to the rolllex's :)
8. MY KIDDDIESSS, STUDENTS, LOVES OF MY LIVES...this trip is all about them, the joy they shared with each of my days, the love they taught me to keep in my heart and the kid that they reminded me still existed inside...Every last minute of this trip will forever be linked to them and everything they did for me...becuase they touched my heart and my life more then i could have ever touched theres...
9. Life here in general...There is something about this place, that has let me leave the order in my life that i always try to have behind, I have learnt to live out of my barriers/box and everything else and realized what its like to just be ..worry free...as some would say...whille there have been tonnes of moments of struggle and worry, and thinking about home, life and the aftermath...the faith i have learnt to have and the positive assumptions I have learnt to have just let me live on, who would have thought....
THINNNNNNGSSS I AM EXCCITED FOR....lets face it coming home, or nearing home puts a smile on my face...but i gotta say the few things besides all my besties, family and others in between that I am exciiited fooor are:
1. BBATTH AND BODY WORKS CREAM...sunscreen has become my greecee of choice and it will be nice to finally not have the perma shine i walk around with...
2 . PERRRFUME.....mhmm bugspray has been the only thing i have worn and whille its suffice here, i am finallly ready to smelll like a lady and not like some aersol bottle...
3. JEAAANS...as much as i hate them...wearing track pants for the many days in a row i have, begin to make you feel like a bag lady, who desperately needs to be featured on what not to wear.
4. Fast internnet...instead of the crappiness that i live with now...loll...TRUST ME...you should all kiss your computersss...
5. Yogaaa/boxing/the gym...walking everywhere and being in a permanent sweaty stage is great exercise but doesnt erase the constant noise around you that you manage to break free of at any of these places.
Annd i feel like tgere is more, but I cant seem to think past this short list sinnnce now i just wanna lay in the sun under a palm treee at the nile resssort...
Thankk you for all the kind words, texts, bbm's, phone calls and everything else...the fact that sooo many of you have shared this trip along with me, has made my experience that much better...thank you for all the support and love...the reality is i had soo much i could have worried about when i left and for the most part you have alll rid all those worries for me....
Missing you all, seee you's sooon...from Jinja with lovvvve always
- The little Indian Pricess
p.s.... LET THE VACAAATION BEEEEGIN, kenya and london town here i comme :)
p.p.s the BB is up and running and the local nummmero will be no more by 2morrow nite my time...
p.p.p.s SEEE you on the other side
It was at that time that this idea of this trip began and no matter how great life seemed to be around me and there was really no reason for me to leave, i knew that 10-15 years from now the lessons I learnt would only make me be the strong, confident, inspirational and beautiful woman that i would want my kids to see and learn from...
Soo the planning began and b4 i knew it i was sitting at heathrow with a stack of goodbye cards/notes and pictures to carry me through bawling like a baby...wondering WHAT THE HELLL i was really doing...thank god for BBM is all i have to say and supprisingly enough the pep talk that Neil of all people provided...
about 30 hours later, which included a lot of disasters, delayed flights and chaos i landed and found myself in the airport guesthouse bawling once again..the thought of being alll alone in this strange place no matter how independent I have managed to become in my life even scared the living crap out of me...I went to bed that first, second, third, fourth and fifth nite wishing i would wake up in my bed at home and it would all be over...
Then I met Julia..a 22 year old German girl who suprisingly summed up exactly how i felt.... the truth is she said " you know exactly what you have left behind, and you have no idea what you are coming to and worst of all you dont know what you will go home too"...and she was right, my eyes lit up and as tears sprung to the surface she assured me that after being here for a few months already, that life was only bound to get better, if i was willing to start believing..
Annnd soo the idea of assumptions came into my mind and seemed to tie into every aspect of my trip and now as I sit here on last day in Jinga, I realize that through all of the ups and downs, questioning of things and struggling with trying to keep it together..I am ready to start believing..because after all, after learning about who i am, what i have and where i come from...holding my head high just seems like the right thing to do...
Soo there you have it, this city, the struggles, the times, the work, the everything here has finally let me leave the past where it belongs and realize that i have learnt to make some of the right choices in my life this past year, even if at times i tend to move at snails pace...
Nooow with all that being said I keep with the trend of lists for this week...here is my liiist of things I'll miss and in nooo particular order since living here has only taught me that order is boring and organized chaos is that much better..I KNOW you're thinking, who the hell is this girl...lol...
1. Emmma & Ian...whoo have basically become the amit's, deepak's, neil's, navin's, etc of Uganda and kept me grounded, sane and most importantly gave me sanity...this trip would never have been the same without these bonds that have now taught me about just letting go and living :)
2. The hooooouse...okay soo its not the W of Montreal that i love...but its home, and everytime I think of UG i'll think of that guesthouse, my room, the kitchen table and the family rooom where endless hours were spent....annnnnnnd the washing area of course where I learnt to becomme domesticated..yea thats right I can now wash clothes by hand :P
3. MYYY BODDA BOODDDA....i videotaped the ride to work on my last day, to show all you people that i know are dying to see the 10000000 of pictures and videos I took....but let me tell you, everytime i think of getting on the go train i think to myself hoooow depresssed i will be knowing that i could have been on a motorcycle...
4. FLAVOOOURS...and indulge and two friends, and the gately and ...lol...every hangout here...BUT ESPECIALLLY flavours..for it has been the "cheers" version of Jinja where everyone knows your name :) plusss you gotta love a caffee that calls u the indian princess :P
5. Not wearing make-up, doing my hair and wearing the same clothes everyday and still being considered a beautiful and rare delicasy out here....fawwk...lol...if i walked around toronto like this I AM POSITIVE that people would throw money at me and think i was a bum...lol...that and I AM POSITIVE...that there are people that would rather just leave me at home when they went out...lol...
6. The scenery, the people, the city, the liveliness....the love, happiness and pride these people have ...make it amaziiing to be around them..its like you walk around with a perma grin alll the timmmme....
7. THE INDIAN FOOOD..which i have to say tastes like being at home...God...i dont really know how much i managed to retain inside of me but every bite of it tasted like Heavvven...whiiich links directly to the rolllex's :)
8. MY KIDDDIESSS, STUDENTS, LOVES OF MY LIVES...this trip is all about them, the joy they shared with each of my days, the love they taught me to keep in my heart and the kid that they reminded me still existed inside...Every last minute of this trip will forever be linked to them and everything they did for me...becuase they touched my heart and my life more then i could have ever touched theres...
9. Life here in general...There is something about this place, that has let me leave the order in my life that i always try to have behind, I have learnt to live out of my barriers/box and everything else and realized what its like to just be ..worry free...as some would say...whille there have been tonnes of moments of struggle and worry, and thinking about home, life and the aftermath...the faith i have learnt to have and the positive assumptions I have learnt to have just let me live on, who would have thought....
THINNNNNNGSSS I AM EXCCITED FOR....lets face it coming home, or nearing home puts a smile on my face...but i gotta say the few things besides all my besties, family and others in between that I am exciiited fooor are:
1. BBATTH AND BODY WORKS CREAM...sunscreen has become my greecee of choice and it will be nice to finally not have the perma shine i walk around with...
2 . PERRRFUME.....mhmm bugspray has been the only thing i have worn and whille its suffice here, i am finallly ready to smelll like a lady and not like some aersol bottle...
3. JEAAANS...as much as i hate them...wearing track pants for the many days in a row i have, begin to make you feel like a bag lady, who desperately needs to be featured on what not to wear.
4. Fast internnet...instead of the crappiness that i live with now...loll...TRUST ME...you should all kiss your computersss...
5. Yogaaa/boxing/the gym...walking everywhere and being in a permanent sweaty stage is great exercise but doesnt erase the constant noise around you that you manage to break free of at any of these places.
Annd i feel like tgere is more, but I cant seem to think past this short list sinnnce now i just wanna lay in the sun under a palm treee at the nile resssort...
Thankk you for all the kind words, texts, bbm's, phone calls and everything else...the fact that sooo many of you have shared this trip along with me, has made my experience that much better...thank you for all the support and love...the reality is i had soo much i could have worried about when i left and for the most part you have alll rid all those worries for me....
Missing you all, seee you's sooon...from Jinja with lovvvve always
- The little Indian Pricess
p.s.... LET THE VACAAATION BEEEEGIN, kenya and london town here i comme :)
p.p.s the BB is up and running and the local nummmero will be no more by 2morrow nite my time...
p.p.p.s SEEE you on the other side
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
And the days begin to draw to an end...
What a wkend....after an extremely stressfilled week, it was super nice to get out of Jinja and head to Kampala for some big cty fun!!! Much was done!!! A concert, a couple VIP PARRTAAAYS (see i am even VIP in the UG, lol) and a few clubs...The capital city is FILLLLLLED with expats, soo when i met tonnes of people from Toronto it was sooo nice to get a bit of a feel of home...The wkend was much fun, but did leave me misssing my kiddies, the guesthouse and my UG crew in Jinja...
But as I road the coaster back to Jinja w/ Emma I began to realize that as excited as I was to get back to Jinja...I realized that my time here is now short....as I write I have exactly 3 days left..we will all pack up and leave Friday and head to Entebbe which is the city where the airport is and stay there over nite, so we can get on our 5AM flights...then I am offf to Kenya for a few and then London Town...
I cant believe all my time is beginning to come to an end...today was my last day of school and as much fun as I had with the kids today, a huge part of me feels like I should cancel my return ticket, get all my stuff shipped here and make my new home base..I feel like i was ment to be here for there kids, and now that i have grown such a huge bond with them to leave almost feels like I am cutting them short of what they deserve...love, attention, support and a mzungo teacher that gives them something to laugh at...
I did my final lessons, took all my photos/videos, had my special friend come by the school to help in putting my take away from africa together, sang all my last songs with nursery kids annnd caused havoc of course in the school field when I brought tonnnes of goooooooodies for the kids to enjoy during their recess...I HEART THESE KIDS...and i'm positive my whole flight home I will be watching them sing the african version of head and shoulders...
Soooo Madame Arti, is officially done teaching and will play mamma at the orphanage for one more day tomorrow and then give myself one day of R&R and lots of nights of bonding with all the peeps I have met here....
Whille this past weekend was amazing, one thing I have learnt was that whille I came here with the intention to spread all the love I had to give and make a difference, these kids have given me more love then I ever thought possible and changed me in away that I never knew I could..I feel like a different, more grown up person..who has burst the PwC bubble and learned to live soo far out of my box that I only hope that I encourage you all to do the same...
Soo with that lets begin the theme of this weeks blogs...favorites, things to miss, things i learned...Lets start with the things I have learnt :
1. That riding a boda boda is sooo much coooler then Go Train and the subbbway and ALLLMOOOOOOOOOST can be put in the same classs as my Hyunnndaaaai (YEA THATS RIGHT..i called my Hyundair cool :) )
2. Rolex's taste sooo good that they are likely worth more then the actual Rolex....and I am positive that I am on a mission to open up my own Rolex stand in the TDOT....lol...
3. Being at the Guesthouse has given me the Uni feel all over again and has made me realize that further schooling is a definate in my future...
4. Internal Audit really isnt as cool as corporate sustainability or social enterprise or teaching primary schooooll @ St. Florence...
5. That I will be the fun, easy going parent that helps her kids get away with things....ONLY IF THEY ARE GETTING STRAIGHT A's :) ...looks like I have taken after my dad's educational hitler ways !
6. That being at home with my kids for many years to watch them grow, is a role I thought I could never handle and have now learnt how important it will be....even though I AM MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY years away from having any to look after...did i mention MANY...lol
7. That love is anything you want it to be...and is just about a special bond, connection and feeling you share with someone...
8. That friendships and relationships I have built up after dealing with much turmoil, are the strongest ones I have and will be with me forever..I am the luckiest girl ever...
9. Assumptions can kill you, but they can also stop you from learning to just have faith in the world, yourself and people around you...always assume like you have never assumed before and when you ask, be prepared to listen to what is being said and not what you think is being said...
10. That life is too short, to live through bounds...we have all failed at love, life and everything in between...but sometimes a simple gesture says it all and it will be all you need to just let go and appreciate what you have in the moment....
UG has become a home that I never thought I could make...and when I lay there at night trying to imagine my life back home..i wonder how things will ever be the same...
I started this journey with a hello world and have realized that I will be flying back to Toronto screaming it outloud...
I've attempted to strip my life of any insecurities and just b, becuase after all these kids have learnt to show soo much pride with what little they have..sooo with how much I have, there is no reason for me to not practise what they have preeched to me...
Signnning off for now....
Arti
P.S all you peeps that have my local number, it wont be in commission after the 31st...sooo bbm or text the bb cuz thats all I will have and be answering :)
But as I road the coaster back to Jinja w/ Emma I began to realize that as excited as I was to get back to Jinja...I realized that my time here is now short....as I write I have exactly 3 days left..we will all pack up and leave Friday and head to Entebbe which is the city where the airport is and stay there over nite, so we can get on our 5AM flights...then I am offf to Kenya for a few and then London Town...
I cant believe all my time is beginning to come to an end...today was my last day of school and as much fun as I had with the kids today, a huge part of me feels like I should cancel my return ticket, get all my stuff shipped here and make my new home base..I feel like i was ment to be here for there kids, and now that i have grown such a huge bond with them to leave almost feels like I am cutting them short of what they deserve...love, attention, support and a mzungo teacher that gives them something to laugh at...
I did my final lessons, took all my photos/videos, had my special friend come by the school to help in putting my take away from africa together, sang all my last songs with nursery kids annnd caused havoc of course in the school field when I brought tonnnes of goooooooodies for the kids to enjoy during their recess...I HEART THESE KIDS...and i'm positive my whole flight home I will be watching them sing the african version of head and shoulders...
Soooo Madame Arti, is officially done teaching and will play mamma at the orphanage for one more day tomorrow and then give myself one day of R&R and lots of nights of bonding with all the peeps I have met here....
Whille this past weekend was amazing, one thing I have learnt was that whille I came here with the intention to spread all the love I had to give and make a difference, these kids have given me more love then I ever thought possible and changed me in away that I never knew I could..I feel like a different, more grown up person..who has burst the PwC bubble and learned to live soo far out of my box that I only hope that I encourage you all to do the same...
Soo with that lets begin the theme of this weeks blogs...favorites, things to miss, things i learned...Lets start with the things I have learnt :
1. That riding a boda boda is sooo much coooler then Go Train and the subbbway and ALLLMOOOOOOOOOST can be put in the same classs as my Hyunnndaaaai (YEA THATS RIGHT..i called my Hyundair cool :) )
2. Rolex's taste sooo good that they are likely worth more then the actual Rolex....and I am positive that I am on a mission to open up my own Rolex stand in the TDOT....lol...
3. Being at the Guesthouse has given me the Uni feel all over again and has made me realize that further schooling is a definate in my future...
4. Internal Audit really isnt as cool as corporate sustainability or social enterprise or teaching primary schooooll @ St. Florence...
5. That I will be the fun, easy going parent that helps her kids get away with things....ONLY IF THEY ARE GETTING STRAIGHT A's :) ...looks like I have taken after my dad's educational hitler ways !
6. That being at home with my kids for many years to watch them grow, is a role I thought I could never handle and have now learnt how important it will be....even though I AM MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY years away from having any to look after...did i mention MANY...lol
7. That love is anything you want it to be...and is just about a special bond, connection and feeling you share with someone...
8. That friendships and relationships I have built up after dealing with much turmoil, are the strongest ones I have and will be with me forever..I am the luckiest girl ever...
9. Assumptions can kill you, but they can also stop you from learning to just have faith in the world, yourself and people around you...always assume like you have never assumed before and when you ask, be prepared to listen to what is being said and not what you think is being said...
10. That life is too short, to live through bounds...we have all failed at love, life and everything in between...but sometimes a simple gesture says it all and it will be all you need to just let go and appreciate what you have in the moment....
UG has become a home that I never thought I could make...and when I lay there at night trying to imagine my life back home..i wonder how things will ever be the same...
I started this journey with a hello world and have realized that I will be flying back to Toronto screaming it outloud...
I've attempted to strip my life of any insecurities and just b, becuase after all these kids have learnt to show soo much pride with what little they have..sooo with how much I have, there is no reason for me to not practise what they have preeched to me...
Signnning off for now....
Arti
P.S all you peeps that have my local number, it wont be in commission after the 31st...sooo bbm or text the bb cuz thats all I will have and be answering :)
Friday, October 23, 2009
What a week...
Soo...whille the first few days of me being here, were likely the hardest I had experienced, being a million miles away from home and in strange place with nothing familar to surround me..this week can definately compare...
So whille I thought things couldnt get much worse after the mayhem at school on Tuesday, it definately did...For the first time I actually broke down at school and basically had to go in this bushy area behind the school for an hour and cry...the day was completely horrible and includes things that I will never forget for years to come...followed by a brutal morning I was basically cornered by a teacher and asked to be his wife and all this very uncomfortablenesss....luckily after experiencing my breakdown in the morning I sent out an SOS to my boy emmma here and he came and rescued me at lunch, keeping me company and ensuring we would take some of the things noted this wk and fix them for the better...
After suffering all morning and having my schedule completely turned upside down, I spent the entire afternoon teaching..my grade 4's after being drilled on mulitplication have come to understand the value of doing things on your own, and my grade 5's turned my entire mood around..they are definately number 1 on my list of things to misss...
I walked into my grade 5 class and had the kiddds cheering because i was teaching, they got up and locked the door as they usually do, sooo no one disturbs our time together...and then Brian, the boy I will again likely sponsor, took out this walkman and basically started recording me...the kids had suchhh a kick out of it and they said see we know you are leaving next week, and we will be sad and cry..but now we recorded you and that means when you are away we can always have you with us....
FAWWWK...there went breakdown number 2, for the day...lawdd, soo yea i cried but managed to get through the lesson and then hung out wth the kids..they taught me how to speak Lungandan which I have picked up on a bit already...but they had such a kick out of me trying and tape recording the whole thing..i lovve those kids...
In fact, whille I had my heart set on a set of these giraffes to bring home, I have found something even better to bring home and its away for me to alwayyys have my grade 5's each day...I have come to realize that for every moment that I suffer when I get back I will look to them as a way to see the good side, and the hope that things will be better...
SOOO after really taking a beating this week with things here and last week with things at home..I just decided to take today off, to relax and then pack b4 heading into KLA for the wkend, to finalllllllllllllly havvvve a wkend that will likely resemble one at home :)
I guess its becoming bittersweet...I am actually really excited to get to Kenya and London and finallly home, but a huge part of me wants to stay here forever and make sure these kids are okay and grow up to believe in themselves they way they should...
These kids have made me come to see that i have spent a greater part of my life making sure everyone is okay, and making sure everyone has the best ...I can think of a few month stint where I put my goals ahead of everything else, but the reality is that I have to say it isnt me...I lead my life with my heart and whille I can give 7000% to everything, I have also learnt that I can pull away just as quickly if I have no surity of where things could be heading...
Its like life is this constant push and pull and finding that balance is the hardest thing to do ..becuase in the end it all leads to assumptions...which I have come to realize I am willing to make in some cases, but in others I think things need to be said...especially when there is much room to assume the worst....
On that nooote, I am out...
ttys :)
So whille I thought things couldnt get much worse after the mayhem at school on Tuesday, it definately did...For the first time I actually broke down at school and basically had to go in this bushy area behind the school for an hour and cry...the day was completely horrible and includes things that I will never forget for years to come...followed by a brutal morning I was basically cornered by a teacher and asked to be his wife and all this very uncomfortablenesss....luckily after experiencing my breakdown in the morning I sent out an SOS to my boy emmma here and he came and rescued me at lunch, keeping me company and ensuring we would take some of the things noted this wk and fix them for the better...
After suffering all morning and having my schedule completely turned upside down, I spent the entire afternoon teaching..my grade 4's after being drilled on mulitplication have come to understand the value of doing things on your own, and my grade 5's turned my entire mood around..they are definately number 1 on my list of things to misss...
I walked into my grade 5 class and had the kiddds cheering because i was teaching, they got up and locked the door as they usually do, sooo no one disturbs our time together...and then Brian, the boy I will again likely sponsor, took out this walkman and basically started recording me...the kids had suchhh a kick out of it and they said see we know you are leaving next week, and we will be sad and cry..but now we recorded you and that means when you are away we can always have you with us....
FAWWWK...there went breakdown number 2, for the day...lawdd, soo yea i cried but managed to get through the lesson and then hung out wth the kids..they taught me how to speak Lungandan which I have picked up on a bit already...but they had such a kick out of me trying and tape recording the whole thing..i lovve those kids...
In fact, whille I had my heart set on a set of these giraffes to bring home, I have found something even better to bring home and its away for me to alwayyys have my grade 5's each day...I have come to realize that for every moment that I suffer when I get back I will look to them as a way to see the good side, and the hope that things will be better...
SOOO after really taking a beating this week with things here and last week with things at home..I just decided to take today off, to relax and then pack b4 heading into KLA for the wkend, to finalllllllllllllly havvvve a wkend that will likely resemble one at home :)
I guess its becoming bittersweet...I am actually really excited to get to Kenya and London and finallly home, but a huge part of me wants to stay here forever and make sure these kids are okay and grow up to believe in themselves they way they should...
These kids have made me come to see that i have spent a greater part of my life making sure everyone is okay, and making sure everyone has the best ...I can think of a few month stint where I put my goals ahead of everything else, but the reality is that I have to say it isnt me...I lead my life with my heart and whille I can give 7000% to everything, I have also learnt that I can pull away just as quickly if I have no surity of where things could be heading...
Its like life is this constant push and pull and finding that balance is the hardest thing to do ..becuase in the end it all leads to assumptions...which I have come to realize I am willing to make in some cases, but in others I think things need to be said...especially when there is much room to assume the worst....
On that nooote, I am out...
ttys :)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The REAL AFRICA...
Sooo...i thought things may get a bit better then yesterday and I really kinda wanted to keep this kinda stuff to myself...but the depresssingness of the past few days is beginning to weight in and actually beginning to make home feeel a bit better, as much as I have grown to love it here...
Soooo...I love my school, actually wait I should rephrase...I LOVE the lady that runs the school where I work and this children...The children are what get me outta bed each morning and are what keep me going during the day...The mean teachers, who like to allienate and make fun of the Mzungo's (non-africans) I could live with out...I have been asked a million inappropriate questions, harrassed for money and my all time worst is getting 3am calls from male teachers that wannna meet up...WTF...3am!!!!! Everytime I get those callls I get soo excited thinking its home, and then i see the names on the screeen and want to die...lol...
Anyways, yesterday was just a typical day like any other day...mean teachers, great kids, but mean teachers being extra mean....and as I finally began teaching my morning lessons...in barged in what of the head masters, basicallly screaming at the children...half the kids got up in front of my eyes and ran out with their things and when I realized what had happend, I realized that all the kids that had not paid their tuition, were told to basically go where the sun dont shine til they could :'(
My grade 5 class went from 8 kids to 3, my grade 6's were all in check and my grade 4's....from 20 to 8 kids...The field at lunch and break was empty and the mood of the students left behind is soo depressing...noow you try motivating kids who are subject to that.....
It was completely heart breaking for me to see and i went to bed hoping it would be better today, but It most definately was not and now I am struggling with trying to motivate those that are left behind..
I made a decision in my first week here to sponsor one of my students through to secondary school...especially since I learnt that it only costs $60 american to send a child to school per term, and that includes uniforms, books, bags, etc. ...considering Aldo or nine west is where I can usually spend that $60, I thought I could cut my shoe collection down and put the money towards a childs future....If any of you are interested please email me and let me know and I can forward you some deats...
Anyways...on that note, with less then 10 days left here (yes single digits !!!!)...I decided to keep these posts funn and lesss depressing as of late, because the reality is whille things like this exist this country is stillll extremely beautiful, and amazing!!!...sooo here are sommme updates :
1. Totally have built a family with the new t.dot girls that are here.
2. Pretty sure I have some sort of stomach bug once again...Annoying....
3. Being completely stalked by my new south african housemate who texts me everyday to say he misses me :S ....MHMMMMM yea i just want those texts from people bak home, thanks and even though he is aware of my situation he is positive that I will fall for him...NO, not happening...he has yet to meet the real me, who likes her trendy clothes, hair did, make-up on and princess status...lol...Any suggestions on how to deal?!?!?!?! I AM DESPERATE...
4. I have become tagged the Indian princess at the cafe I go to ..since I screamed and jumped when I saw a mouse and insisted that i walk on all the couches just to get out of the room...lol
5. I have witnessed my first Ugandan bar experience...which some of you got texts/bbm's about when i got home...lol..I'm positive that this wkend Ali is promising nothing short when I head to the capital to see just what this prior markham boy is about...lol...
6. Have started to head my life in the right direction...
7. And of course as always MISSSSSSSSS HOMMMMMMMMMME and everyone who completes my life there...
Hope that lightened up this note a bit...love ya's always...
Indian Princess Out :)
Soooo...I love my school, actually wait I should rephrase...I LOVE the lady that runs the school where I work and this children...The children are what get me outta bed each morning and are what keep me going during the day...The mean teachers, who like to allienate and make fun of the Mzungo's (non-africans) I could live with out...I have been asked a million inappropriate questions, harrassed for money and my all time worst is getting 3am calls from male teachers that wannna meet up...WTF...3am!!!!! Everytime I get those callls I get soo excited thinking its home, and then i see the names on the screeen and want to die...lol...
Anyways, yesterday was just a typical day like any other day...mean teachers, great kids, but mean teachers being extra mean....and as I finally began teaching my morning lessons...in barged in what of the head masters, basicallly screaming at the children...half the kids got up in front of my eyes and ran out with their things and when I realized what had happend, I realized that all the kids that had not paid their tuition, were told to basically go where the sun dont shine til they could :'(
My grade 5 class went from 8 kids to 3, my grade 6's were all in check and my grade 4's....from 20 to 8 kids...The field at lunch and break was empty and the mood of the students left behind is soo depressing...noow you try motivating kids who are subject to that.....
It was completely heart breaking for me to see and i went to bed hoping it would be better today, but It most definately was not and now I am struggling with trying to motivate those that are left behind..
I made a decision in my first week here to sponsor one of my students through to secondary school...especially since I learnt that it only costs $60 american to send a child to school per term, and that includes uniforms, books, bags, etc. ...considering Aldo or nine west is where I can usually spend that $60, I thought I could cut my shoe collection down and put the money towards a childs future....If any of you are interested please email me and let me know and I can forward you some deats...
Anyways...on that note, with less then 10 days left here (yes single digits !!!!)...I decided to keep these posts funn and lesss depressing as of late, because the reality is whille things like this exist this country is stillll extremely beautiful, and amazing!!!...sooo here are sommme updates :
1. Totally have built a family with the new t.dot girls that are here.
2. Pretty sure I have some sort of stomach bug once again...Annoying....
3. Being completely stalked by my new south african housemate who texts me everyday to say he misses me :S ....MHMMMMM yea i just want those texts from people bak home, thanks and even though he is aware of my situation he is positive that I will fall for him...NO, not happening...he has yet to meet the real me, who likes her trendy clothes, hair did, make-up on and princess status...lol...Any suggestions on how to deal?!?!?!?! I AM DESPERATE...
4. I have become tagged the Indian princess at the cafe I go to ..since I screamed and jumped when I saw a mouse and insisted that i walk on all the couches just to get out of the room...lol
5. I have witnessed my first Ugandan bar experience...which some of you got texts/bbm's about when i got home...lol..I'm positive that this wkend Ali is promising nothing short when I head to the capital to see just what this prior markham boy is about...lol...
6. Have started to head my life in the right direction...
7. And of course as always MISSSSSSSSS HOMMMMMMMMMME and everyone who completes my life there...
Hope that lightened up this note a bit...love ya's always...
Indian Princess Out :)
Monday, October 19, 2009
Here is what GIVING back is all about...
Someone said to me soon before I left that I could just write a check and send the money towards the cause...but the reality is today along with many of the days is why I chose to be here...
Today, I took a day break from the orphanage and along with a couple of the volunteers, we hiked for about 2 hrs, carrying these family kits, which include, mattresses, mosquito nets, pans, containers for water, etc. Annnd yess WE ALL CARRRIED THEM...i had all the juggs strapped on my back and we walked up and down mudddy pathways all in hopes of getting to the end...We arrived in small rural villages, where there are only mud huts, plantations and the most simplest of people..it was simply amazing, and whille there is much I want to write about the people I got to meet..I am still learning to deal with the emotions of it all..
Its exactly what I talked about when I mentioned the idea of "assumptions", while these people were amazed and happy with all they were to recieve, the reality is that whether we had gone or not, they were simply happy...And thats it...I mean I think people assume they have to come here and give millions of money to these people, but the reality is they wouldnt know what to do with it..they have come to love the simplest things in life, which is where I could relate most...while i love my designer/trendy clothes, make-up, nice resto's and bars and so on...everyone who knows me knows...it is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS about the LITTLE THINGS...they take the least amount of time and they touch people the most becuase in the midst of a crazie life, sometimes a text or a phone call hello is all someone needs...which is why I care only about those things, and only show how much i care that way..
As part of making these kits I also had the chance to meet the most amazing lady ever today, named BABY JUSTINE...she is the most amazing woman as everyone told me she would be...
We talked for about an hour today and the conversation began with a you are soooo beautiful (whiiich i have become soooo accustomed to hearing..lol, which i always laugh about since my latest look is nothing short of "jungle girl")....I laughed as usual..but later in the conversation she wanted to know about my life and when we started talking about boys..she told me that whille I didnt think I looked beautiful because I did not have my makeup and hair done...it was the beauty within my soull that was shining through...It simply brought me to tears...and was right in line with the little things..after the way things have gone for me in my life...that was all i really wanted to hear...whether I am in the clothes I am in, obese, crazie looking or whatever...I have always just wanted to be considered beautiful for who I was inside..and what she said to me will stay with me for life...
Spreading happiness like we did today, and learning to see how these people have just come to love what they are surrounded by has made me appreciate soo many things....
And with that I will sign off for today....
but b4 I go...I am amazed with all the readers and emails, texts, messages, etc that I have gotten because of my writing...but I just want to say thank you to those of you, who have really been there when I needed it most...
And with that this post is dedicated to Jennny Wan and Fancie...In the darkest moments here, you tooo have shown love through the little things and I am forever greatfull.
Love u's
Arti
Today, I took a day break from the orphanage and along with a couple of the volunteers, we hiked for about 2 hrs, carrying these family kits, which include, mattresses, mosquito nets, pans, containers for water, etc. Annnd yess WE ALL CARRRIED THEM...i had all the juggs strapped on my back and we walked up and down mudddy pathways all in hopes of getting to the end...We arrived in small rural villages, where there are only mud huts, plantations and the most simplest of people..it was simply amazing, and whille there is much I want to write about the people I got to meet..I am still learning to deal with the emotions of it all..
Its exactly what I talked about when I mentioned the idea of "assumptions", while these people were amazed and happy with all they were to recieve, the reality is that whether we had gone or not, they were simply happy...And thats it...I mean I think people assume they have to come here and give millions of money to these people, but the reality is they wouldnt know what to do with it..they have come to love the simplest things in life, which is where I could relate most...while i love my designer/trendy clothes, make-up, nice resto's and bars and so on...everyone who knows me knows...it is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS about the LITTLE THINGS...they take the least amount of time and they touch people the most becuase in the midst of a crazie life, sometimes a text or a phone call hello is all someone needs...which is why I care only about those things, and only show how much i care that way..
As part of making these kits I also had the chance to meet the most amazing lady ever today, named BABY JUSTINE...she is the most amazing woman as everyone told me she would be...
We talked for about an hour today and the conversation began with a you are soooo beautiful (whiiich i have become soooo accustomed to hearing..lol, which i always laugh about since my latest look is nothing short of "jungle girl")....I laughed as usual..but later in the conversation she wanted to know about my life and when we started talking about boys..she told me that whille I didnt think I looked beautiful because I did not have my makeup and hair done...it was the beauty within my soull that was shining through...It simply brought me to tears...and was right in line with the little things..after the way things have gone for me in my life...that was all i really wanted to hear...whether I am in the clothes I am in, obese, crazie looking or whatever...I have always just wanted to be considered beautiful for who I was inside..and what she said to me will stay with me for life...
Spreading happiness like we did today, and learning to see how these people have just come to love what they are surrounded by has made me appreciate soo many things....
And with that I will sign off for today....
but b4 I go...I am amazed with all the readers and emails, texts, messages, etc that I have gotten because of my writing...but I just want to say thank you to those of you, who have really been there when I needed it most...
And with that this post is dedicated to Jennny Wan and Fancie...In the darkest moments here, you tooo have shown love through the little things and I am forever greatfull.
Love u's
Arti
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Happppppppppy Diwallllli from Uganda :)
Sooo today was a beautiful dayyy i must say...I think as much as I love it here, like most of you know I live a pretty routined life...yoga twice a week, boxing once, goodlife a couple times and temple of tuesdays...and whille i love the fact that i have learnt to live in a way that has me constantly saying "Hakuna Matata :P"....i DOO misss some of the routine things...
But after a month almost...i got to finally indulge, as I headed to the mandhir this morning...The sun was shining, the people were beautiful and i got to ring in Diwallli the right way...it was refresshing after dealing with some of the emotions of this week to sit in a place and let it all out...I have met some of the most religious people here and it just continues to amaze me with how much respect I have learned to have for every religion out there..There is something beautiful to show for it all ..especially what it does for a family...
Anywhooooo thats alll for now...i must head back, get changed and get readddy for an African Nite oh bonding, aka. lots of...welll in my case only one beeer considering the bottles are like 750 mL here...WTF..is all i have to say...
Misssing my family lots today...love ya's and again happpy diwallli :)
p.s i updated the settting ssoo all u none gmail users can commment away!
But after a month almost...i got to finally indulge, as I headed to the mandhir this morning...The sun was shining, the people were beautiful and i got to ring in Diwallli the right way...it was refresshing after dealing with some of the emotions of this week to sit in a place and let it all out...I have met some of the most religious people here and it just continues to amaze me with how much respect I have learned to have for every religion out there..There is something beautiful to show for it all ..especially what it does for a family...
Anywhooooo thats alll for now...i must head back, get changed and get readddy for an African Nite oh bonding, aka. lots of...welll in my case only one beeer considering the bottles are like 750 mL here...WTF..is all i have to say...
Misssing my family lots today...love ya's and again happpy diwallli :)
p.s i updated the settting ssoo all u none gmail users can commment away!
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